Beauty
by InAMysticsMind
Summary: Castiel had once found beauty in everything on Earth. Even with his tainted view; there was still something that held his faith in humanity.


*This takes place before Episode 11 of Season 10, after Claire leaves.*

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Castiel had watched the Earth fall apart at the seams. He has seem the scum of the Earth, the lowest of the low. He has watched brother turn on brother, sister on sister. He has seen deals made between human and demon, not to mention human and angel. He has seen the darkest side of the Earth, but that was not all he saw.

He saw a human. One human that managed to rise above it all. Dean Winchester had been dragged through the mud. He had been there for the death of both of his parents, far before their time. He had died and come back on numerous occasions; once by the hand of Castiel himself. He had trusted Cas when he had no reason to be trusted. He had forgiven him when he had no reason to be forgiven. He had regained his brother's soul. Dean Winchester had come back; he had been a demon. He still had the mark, but he was managing.

Barely. Cas hated to watch as the one human that remain untainted in his view fell apart in front of him. Dean was falling victim to the mark once more. This time, however, his soul remained fully intact; purified of his demon activity. His soul was suffering the guilt of the mark, rather than relishing in its torture.

"Dean, are you sure you're alright," Castiel asks, his eyes boring into the man next to him. Dean sighs, seeming to know what the angel was going to say before he said it.

"Listen Cas, we both know I'm not, alright? The mark is getting worse, I nearly killed freakin' Metatron, and to top it all off I'm not sure how much longer we can keep this thing in check," he says, looking down at his arm. Castiel sighs, feeling his chest clench like it does every time his human is in pain.

He does not remember when he started referring to Dean as his human, he had no right; but he kept doing it. Castiel had been around the block, so he was aware that his feelings for Dean were not entirely platonic. He worshipped Dean. Castiel knew he was tainted; he had reached the ultimate low of both angel and man, only brought back by one thing. The man in front of him.

"I wish I could help more Dean," Castiel said, knowing his words meant little to nothing in the moment. What were words when they could do nothing to sooth the beast? Castiel meant them, however, with every atom in the vast expanse of space. He wanted to help Dean Winchester, to be the light in his dark. He wanted to see him smile without empty eyes.

"Well ya can't Cas, and as much as it sucks that's just how it is and we gotta deal with it. You've picked up too many of our messes anyhow, this is my fault. I thought I could handle the mark, but I was wrong, and now I have to face the consequences." Castiel can see the worn look on Dean's face and he sucks in some air to steady himself.

"Dean, you-"

"Save it Cas, alright. We all knew I was screwed anyway. Just remember to keep your promise, alright?" he asks, looking hard at him.

"It's more difficult than it seems for me Dean," Castiel admits, hoping against all hope that Sam doesn't pick this moment to walk in. Castiel is about to say something he has been wanting to tell Dean since Castiel himself stepped off his righteous high horse.

"Oh yeah, and why's that?" Dean huffs, his temper kicking in. It has been getting out of control with the mark. Once Dean gets started he usually does not stop.

"You mean a lot to me Dean, more than you realize. You are the reason for my existence. You may not care if you are alive or not, but Sam needs you. I need you Dean. I… I love you." It was such a human emotion, and Castiel still was not sure if he favored it. It caused him so much pain sometimes.

"I love you too Cas, which is why I need-"

"No! Dean," Cas feels his grace sloshing restlessly inside and he pauses to calm himself. He looks up, locking eyes with Dean. "My feelings are not platonic. I feel… emotionally drawn to you in a way that an angel should not feel, not that angels should feel in general but we have long crossed that bridge," Castiel says, shrugging slightly at the end. His grace was still swirling, unable to calm entirely with the unknown knowledge of Dean's reaction. Castiel hopes it does not involve an angel blade.

"Cas, take a seat," Dean says, and it is only then that Castiel realizes he had stood up. He moved his hands down the front of his jacket, pressing it into place. "I love both you and Sam, in different ways," Dean says, attempting to communicate with his eyes what he has not said aloud, "which is why if I go off the deep end, I need you to kill me. I don't know what I would do if I hurt either of you. You two are _all_ I have," he says, placing his hand over Castiel's. Cas nods his head.

"And you are all I have, but if I must, then I will," Cas says, looking Dean in the eyes. "I promise."

Deans smiles at him and they both fall silent, the air seeming heavy. It seems like hours before they make eye contact once more, and it all happens so quickly. Castiel is not even sure who made the first move, but he does not really care.

Lips are on lips, body pressed against body. No words are spoken but they quickly vacate the area to Dean's room, never fully leaving the physical contact of one another. Dean bites roughly at Castiel's neck and Castiel is slightly confused at the pleasure that wracks through his body because of it. He still has not figured out all the quirks of man.

He shivers as he feels Dean's hands run the length of his body, shedding his clothes. They stumble ungraciously towards the bed, falling with a thump, the spring squeaking underneath their weight. Cas grips the back of Dean's neck, pulling him towards his face, but Dean stops. His breath is ragged, mingling with Cas's. He takes a deep breath, looking Castiel in the eye.

"You sure about this Cas?" Dean asks, and Castiel can see all the doubt in his eyes. He never believed in anything good.

"I have never been more sure of anything." As a small smile cracks on Dean's features, Cas sees a little speck of light in his eye.


End file.
